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A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?” “My mother died in August,” he said, “and left me $25,000.” “Gee, that’s tough,” he replied. “Then in September,” the friend continued, “My father died, leaving me $90,000.” “Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you’re depressed.” “And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000.” “Three close family members lost in three months? How sad.” “Then this month,” continued the friend, “absolutely nothing!”

Для изучающих английский язык. 

Очередная порция юмора про лентяя мужа. Читаем!

The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.” “Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.” “Okay,” said the man. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”

Для изучающих английский язык

Луч??е изучать языки, смеясь. ?? для лексики хоро??о, и для понимания связной речи.

A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn’t improve. Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, “When a musician just can’t handle his instrument and doesn’t improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer.” A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: “And if he can’t handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor.”

Для изучающих английский язык.

• “Смешливый” способ изучения языков признан одни из самых приятных. Не только пополните словарный запас, но и посмеетесь вдоволь.

Benjamin rushes to his doctor.

“Doctor, you’ve got to give me something to make me young again. I’ve got a date with this beautiful young girl tonight.”

His doctor said, “Hold on a second, you’re 70 years old, there’s really not a lot I can do for you.”

Benjamin replies, “But doctor, my friend Tony is much older than I am and he says he has sex three times a week.”

“OK,” says the doctor, “so you say it too!”